Corrupt-A-Wish

[chaosbaseball]

Granted but needing 2 bottles of sauce to charm Paula Abdul is about as necessary as needing an IQ above 80 to charm Brittany Spears. But, nonetheless on her last slip of Wild Irish Rose (liquor store was sold out of the goose) she finds you mildly amusing and that being the only criteria she needs to become intimately involved, she strips down and the two of you make wild monkey love til the rooster crows the next morning. Upon waking the next morn, still in a state of rapture, she shares her love with you once again before revealing that she is really a man named Paul Abdul. Unshaken by her revelation, you accept him as he is and begin a whirlwind 2 week romance that ends only when you find out she has secretly reignited the flame she once had with Emilio Estevez. She/he lets you down as easy as possible and asks if "we can still be friends"?

I wish I could be as cool as Tremor, Speedy, and Oldnslow.

[Tremor]

Granted! But you are now hated by the rest of the forum as we are! Now you held to the task of a$$-kissing to get back in the loop only to find out the forum "Goddess Kathie" has limited you to the art skating threads. Now you are beaten down by the humiliation and start chasing buses to train as no other self -respecting speed skater will have anything to do with you (because you have been sighted actually posting in the art forums out of shear desperation). You eventually fade in to a distant retirement of sitting in the corner trying to do camels.

I wish I could get in shape in time for 2oo8 A2A.

[d.phillips1970]

Originally Posted by Tremor

I wish I could get in shape in time for 2oo8 A2A.

Granted, you are in the best shape of your life, round. You shouldn't have ate the gum a Willy Wonka's until it was cooked. You can now "roll" faster than any one in the world, with the occasional bump when your head hits. The only problem is you can't seem to corner. Your new nick-name is "The Round Mound of A2A". And dude don't you look great in spandex.

I wish my dog would stop farting.

[Tremor]

Originally Posted by d.phillips1970

Granted, you are in the best shape of your life, round. You shouldn't have ate the gum a Willy Wonka's until it was cooked. You can now "roll" faster than any one in the world, with the occasional bump when your head hits. The only problem is you can't seem to corner. Your new nick-name is "The Round Mound of A2A". And dude don't you look great in spandex.

I wish my dog would stop farting.

It just KILLED me! 'cause I WAS round, now I'm just OVAL! hehe

[d.phillips1970]

ok was that too hard of a wish to corrupt?
lets try another one.
I wish candles came in scents like bacon and eggs or steak and potatos, man that whould smell way better then waxed fruit.

[CrazyGambit]

I wish candles came in scents like bacon and eggs or steak and potatos, man that would smell way better then waxed fruit.

Granted... You were deep in your usual routine of watching your 2:00 am girls gone wild infomercial. Then it happened, no girls just some half baked idea to sell food scented candles, and not normal scents like fruit, but of all the silly ass ideas Meal scents.
Are you tired of your significant other lighting up fruity scents in your cave? Well this is your lucky day brought to you from the Ronco family. Do you like the smell of a hot cooked meal?
The menu read something like this

Steak and potatoes
Bacon and eggs
Chitlins and rocky mountain oysters
Chicken and gravy
Pork chops and rice
Salmon and fresh vegetables
Pizza and beer
Hamburger and fries
Tripe tostados

You jumped up and grabed for the phone knocking your pommeranian out of the bed. You dialed and was amazed not to have to wait while your call was answered. In fact you are not even sure that it rang at all. You spoke to a very sultry voice that sounded aroused by the talk of food. It vaguely sounded like a phone sex opperator you "accidently" called a few times.
You eagerly gave all your personal and credit card information, telling her to send you one of every thing.
After a measly 10 weeks you got your order and was going to surprise what ever woman you could find that will go out with you. After 36 calls you found someone that would agree to come to your house. So what if it was a house keeper and it was 10am you had an agenda damn it.
She arives at 5 till 10 you are a little put out since you waited till the last minute to throw all this together. You made the decision to have each room smelling like a different scent. Unfortunatly after you let her in and had the candles burning for about 5 minutes there came a very familiar scent that you couldn't quite place.
Then as your house keeper/date starts to wretch and gag you place that all to familiar scent of vomit. Then it starts to hit your stomach as well, as you both come to a vomiting climax. She has her head in the toilet, yet you are still kind of aroused. You of course are swallowing yours back down as you make your way to the kitchen sink.
Then all of a sudden you hear a welping, and a burning hair smell. Then your Pom runs across the room on fire, lighting the house on fire as she runs from the drapes to on, and under the bed, you manage to get a couch cushion to smother her burning hair out. You and the dog and the "date" make it out of the house before any harm can come to you all.
Yet the house was a total loss, and you had all your money in your sweat stained matress, and with all that money you were saving from not having insurance.
You learned a lesson that day a small brained dog is ruled by its nose. So never have meat smelled candles in your house. It is not all bad, the house keeper feels sorry for you and offers to let you stay on her couch while you look for a new place . Maybe it can turn into love after a week or a few months. Always the optimist.

I wish i could think before i type corruptions.

[chaosbaseball]

Granted, but this being the first time you actually did think about something, your brain went into overload and blew. The stinch was horrible, something akin to burnt pomeranian.

I wish I wasn't so good looking.

[Tremor]

Granted, YOU'RE NOT!

I wish I could win Nationals.

[CrazyGambit]

Originally Posted by chaosbaseball

Granted, but this being the first time you actually did think about something, your brain went into overload and blew. The stinch was horrible, something akin to burnt pomeranian.

I wish I wasn't so good looking.

i will give you a chance to redeem yourself for this half assed atempt before i say WEAK

Originally Posted by Tremor

Granted, YOU'RE NOT!

I wish I could win Nationals.

And Trem that is just WEAK, no chance of redemption for you.

[Tremor]

Originally Posted by CrazyGambit

i will give you a chance to redeem yourself for this half assed atempt before i say WEAK


And Trem that is just WEAK, no chance of redemption for you.

Dude, you're just pissed 'cause it only took 2 words to corrupt your $!tty wish, nice try though, POSER!

[CrazyGambit]

LOL you got slacker style.

Originally Posted by Tremor

Dude, you're just pissed 'cause it only took 2 words to corrupt your $!tty wish, nice try though, POSER!

LOL i think we need a ruling from the pres on this one.

EDIT: I left it as an easy wish to get someone to attempt a response.

[Tremor]

Originally Posted by CrazyGambit

LOL you got slacker style.


LOL i think we need a ruling from the pres on this one.

So he can chime in and say you SUCK, no problem.

[CrazyGambit]

Originally Posted by Tremor

So he can chime in and say you SUCK, no problem.

LOL if that his verdict, then so be it.

[Tremor]

<Tremor is attempting to locate a good deal on a Sniper's Rifle>

[Tremor]

OK, Mr. Lincoln um err Kennedies I'll take your wordS for it.

[Tremor]

Dude, "damn hippie"? YOU have more hippie friends then I am OR have.
<Tremor is laughing SOOO hard, 'cause the president is now in an area of LIFE in which he is CLUELESS too!> I had this conversation with a former partner of which someone ELSE gave the SAME opinion and we just laaaaught! Someone NEEDS 'Diversity Training" AND I mean that! hehe Mr. President are you SURE you don't have a Ph.D.?

[Tremor]

But it's got just the right amount of fog in here

[d.phillips1970]

Originally Posted by speedysktr

I wish cross dressing was more socially acceptable in today's business environment.

Granted, speedy finally get to raid his relay partners closet and wear all those things that he had been dreaming about for the past 20 years. His jealousy is no more, strutting around in high heels and short skirts. At work one day a fellow co-worker smacked him on the rear. So upset he files sexual harassment charges, only to have them dismissed. Walking home from work he is repeatedly whistled at by construction workers. He goes home to find his significant other in jeans and a "wife-beater" shirt. He runs into his room in tears, clicking his heels on his new red glittered shoes and saying "there's no place like my closet" "there's no place like my closet" "no place like my closet" Waking up in bed the next day he realizes it was only a dream, until he walks past the bathroom to witness her from behind standing up while using the toilet. .....fade to black.......


I wish Wonder Woman was real.

[kev0]

Granted, but the laws of physics will smack her on the face to the point she won't be Wonder Woman anymore.

I wish oversea delivery isn't so expensive.

[skateforfun]

Granted, however as a result the price of domestic shipping skyrockets causing you to fall into deep depression and ultimately take up residence under your local freeway bartering for a refrigerator box.

I wish that I could see the future and change it's outcome to suit my needs.