S k a t e L o g     F o r u m
Inline Skating and Quad Roller Skating
Forum Hosts: Jessica Wright | Kathie Fry

FOLLOW US: Our Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Email    


Home - Forum Index - Africa Skating - Asia Skating - Europe Skating - Oceania Skating - Pan America Skating - Roller_Rinks - Friend the SkateLog Forum in Facebook - SkateLog Forum on Facebook

Forum Administrators: Jessica Wright and Kathie Fry | Email Us
Access code for buying and selling subforums: "skates"
How To Get a User Account and Posting Privileges in the SkateLog Forum
Use Google to Search the SkateLog Forum

Go Back   SkateLog Forum > General Interest Skating Forums > Fitness Skating and Training Forum
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Fitness Skating and Training Forum Discussions about on-skate and off-skate training, hydration, sports nutrition, weight loss, injuries, sports medicine, and other topics related to training and physical fitness for skaters.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old November 14th, 2007, 01:37 PM   #61
MWehmeier
Skater - Coach SoCal
 
MWehmeier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Diamond Bar, CA
Posts: 1,010
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esk8 View Post
Yes that is a good point - thanks Sheldon for bringing this point up. It's extremely relevant, and I selfishly appreciate the opportunity to write about and therefore reinforce the importance of skating (physical exercise, creative expression) in my life. So thank you for making me think about it, even though you may not have gotten a darned thing out of it (but I hope you did).

Mary Lu - About your mother's comment: I've seen plenty of men do stuff halfway. And there are plenty of women who go overboard. No disrespect at all to you or your Mother - I'm just not a fan of 'men do this' and 'women do that' blanket-statements. But your husband's hobby sounds like a blast!
Esk--

Oh I did get something out of it... from my end of the planet I know I'm obsessive and a perfectionist about nearly everything I care about doing. The rest-- ugh! <shrug> This comes from years of doing school figures, being an only child and having parents to stressed doing something well... or don't waste their time and money. I also spent a good portion of my adult life actually working in healthcare where doing things right is expected-- otherwise people die.

While I'm about as liberated female you'd care to meet-- The reason for "the men do statement" is pretty simple psychology and basic biology. Well grounded men are normally hunters-- who strive to do things, fix things and most attempt to do whatever they are working on well. This would include taking responsibility for their own health by skating. I personally wish more people would. Sports are rarely an activity men do half-assed. Also on a basic biology level normal men is either on or off. There's little in between. (If you need me to draw you a picture on this-- let's do in in private. ) This carries over into a lot of things and is generally how they're wired. (No offense guys... I like ya that way.)

The problem of adults skating seriously is complex-- especially in today's world. No adult, male or female takes up skating seriously and successfully without commitment, sacrifice and a positive active family life. The same could be said of several other sports.

If an adult can skate seriously as a sport and use it as a primary exercise, the benefits for themselves, both mentally and physically-- and the welfare of their family's can and will benefit everyone in the long haul.

The primary thing is the entire family has to be on-board to using exercise as a regular positive activity.

Thanks my 25 cents worth for the day.

Mary Lu

__________________
Mary L. Wehmeier, Coach - Skater - Judge - Diamond Bar, CA
http://www.hellomarylu.com - http://www.flickr.com/photos/mwehmeier/sets/
http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/adultrollerskatingnews/
MWehmeier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 16th, 2007, 09:03 AM   #62
janneman
Senior Member
 
janneman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: rotterdam
Posts: 772
Thumbs up tnx

Quote:
Originally Posted by MWehmeier View Post
Thanks my 25 cents worth for the day.
Though your dollarcents are devaluting rapidly - they are very valued here!

hehe - do you pronounce your name the german way?
__________________
"the internet is a world without borders - where the heart is the only passport you carry" ~carl santana
janneman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 16th, 2007, 09:17 AM   #63
MWehmeier
Skater - Coach SoCal
 
MWehmeier's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Diamond Bar, CA
Posts: 1,010
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by janneman View Post
Though your dollarcents are devaluting rapidly - they are very valued here!

hehe - do you pronounce your name the german way?
Mein Namen auf Deutch ist Weh-meier (e ist einen a). Ja.

Too many darn years of taking German. I rarely use it any more. But most of my family still speaks it.

Mary Lu
The devaluing one.
__________________
Mary L. Wehmeier, Coach - Skater - Judge - Diamond Bar, CA
http://www.hellomarylu.com - http://www.flickr.com/photos/mwehmeier/sets/
http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/adultrollerskatingnews/
MWehmeier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 16th, 2007, 09:54 AM   #64
janneman
Senior Member
 
janneman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: rotterdam
Posts: 772
Cool winkie

Quote:
Originally Posted by MWehmeier View Post
Mein Namen auf Deutch ist Weh-meier
Korrektur; "Meinen Namen" - wenn du es mal Łben willst - also gerne Es ist zwar nicht meine Muttersprache, aber ich hab ja auch zu viel geŁbt

Eeek! sorry for straying soooo off-topic!

Translation; Correction; (grammar) - if you want to practise - you're welcome. It's not my mother-tongue but I have been practising too much too
__________________
"the internet is a world without borders - where the heart is the only passport you carry" ~carl santana
janneman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 23rd, 2007, 03:43 PM   #65
oldiesk8er
Senior Member
 
oldiesk8er's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 305
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MWehmeier View Post
Sheldon,

I disagree. You've actually opened up a serious discussion that is a good thing. You may be regretting people getting in your business-- but sit back and second and understand Everyone is learning from this. AKA YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Anyone who's skated seriously has been in this spot.... 'Sorry like you really wanted to hear from another women here-- and an ART skater at that... however let me see if I can offer a little sage advice here that comes from being in skating most of my life--- but getting out for some time as well... and the problems in coming back...

1. I respect and admire the fact your family comes first. 'Wish we could see that trait in more men these days-- however don't pin a medal on your chest yet, Sweetie.

2. It's obvious your male. No offense meant, but every boy... er man likes to have his toys... er hobbies. I have a husband who flies competition model guiders F3B World class stuff. Talk to me about serious competitiveness.

One of the wisest things my mother ever told me was that men never do anything half way-- especially if they like it. It's all or nothing. She also explained that is fine as long as a couple things happen: A) the family is taken care of and B) the line of communications with the spouse are open, two-way and honest. Being married does not mean you completely shelf your own dreams and desires to achieve-- it means it's a compromise. (Mom was pretty wise in her 52 yrs of marriage to my Dad.)

3. You also don't need to be so immersed in skating that it's the only thing you ever talk about-- Make the conscience effort to check the "skate talk" on the door step. However this does not mean you never talk about it-- and you NEVER HIDE IT like some guilty pleasure. Your skating regularly is as matter of fact as asking "What's for dinner?" Be proud that you are taking the personal responsibility to do something good for your mental and physical health. Should your wife not "get it" then it is time for a serious conversation without emotion, baggage or venom on either side. It's quite possible she's got issues herself and is taking them out on you. If so, you could be Superman, and all she's going to do is complain about having to wash that outfit with the big red "S" on it in a separate load!

Question: Does the spouse ever do any type of physical activity or sport? If not, it's time to buy her a membership for Curves and get her off her fanny! Or does she only cart the kids around, and set such a high "Super Mom" standards on all of you that nothing can be out of place or off HER schedule? Or does she go with the flow within reason? The reality check is there are too many of my gender who only look at their spouse as an income statement, and who would treat an employee better than they treat you. If so you have a much bigger problem.

As for her not wanting to go off with you to a race-- Geesh! I'd love to be able to say HELL NO every time my professional husband wants to bring me along to a Conference or Flying Competition! But I don't. WHY? Because he makes sure that we get to do something fun and special some time during every trip. Hasn't this gal ever heard of a spa in most decent hotels? Good Lord! Also the time away from everyone else gives a couple the opportunity to talk and reconnect as human beings-- and have some fun. Fun you can't have with the kiddies in tow. Remember?

The reality check is 24 years ago I left competitive skating and coaching when I was nearly at the top of the heap. I shelved it because of a variety of things including a spouse who could not understand it and did everything in his power to sabotage my skating. He is now my X-husband, despite the fact I helped pay for his Law School Education and worked my tail off in his Law Office (without pay) as he was getting established. Do I regret it? Yes, and I vowed never to allow my life to ever go that way again.

Today my husband is the one actually pushing me to get back into skating and coaching for a variety of reasons. He has openly said to me and our friends-- I would prefer to see her go back to skating than regret never trying again.

Does he go with me to the rink? Sometimes, when he's home from the hospital early enough-- but in reality he knows if I say I'm at the rink, I'm there. We always communicate as to where I am, when I'm coming home, and where dinner's hiding or if we should make plans for carryout or a quick trip to out eat. He also has started picking up the slack on some of the chores like feeding the dogs, stopping at a store, or even running the vac' over the carpet. It's all a trade off. There are very few chores in our house that the other can't do. And when it all gets away from us-- I hire someone to cut the grass or get on something we can't turn into a quick weekend project that fits our plans.

Life's too short.

So now go pin that medal on your chest, and go do the right thing by having an honest chat with your wife. Or send her over here to have a chat with a couple of us!

Mary Lu

My goodness me that's you told Sheldon.
oldiesk8er is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 27th, 2007, 04:03 AM   #66
Deb
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 20
Default Problem solved

I solved this problem. Got all the girlfriends from the gym to start skating too. So, now there are seven of us..Everyone talks and skates three times a week, sometimes four. Great problem solved. We also solve the world's problems during our skates...
Have a good one!
deb
Deb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 1st, 2007, 10:01 AM   #67
online inline
Senior Member
 
online inline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: seattle, WA USA
Posts: 3,997
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deb View Post
I solved this problem. Got all the girlfriends from the gym to start skating too. So, now there are seven of us...
How'd you do that?
If i could do it, and get even seven converts, i'd double our outdoor speed skating community single handedly. What;'s the trick?
Good for you! And good for them, too, i suppose.
online inline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2007, 01:10 AM   #68
CrazyGambit
Socially Unacceptable
 
CrazyGambit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Huntsville Alabama
Posts: 1,010
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper Montana View Post
Trees turning orange
Streetlights blazing in the cold
Dog poops a big one.
Very good hachoo
there should be a thread just for hachoo.

This is probably one of the best threads that i have read in a long time, on any of the forums i frequent.
I too am an obsessive person, and my wife has dealt with many obsessions during are soon to be tenure, not all of them healthy.
She is happy with this one because it is healthy and i am sticking with it. Unlike when i decided i was going to get back into mountain biking, bike sits in the garage and i rarely use it. I have 3 small children and i plan on getting them involved in skating, they all want to learn so that they can share what i enjoy. I figure next spring when the weather turns.
So far there has not been any negitive feelings comming from skating. I liked O/I's take on not letting the cat out of the bag, makes perfect sense. I have found that when people are not obsessed about something they tire of hearing about it.
Sheldon your post was very honest, it really hit home with other obsessions i have had over the years, and all the conflict that it brought into my marriage. You and only you know what is best for your home. I am sure that you will get the kinks worked out. Married with children is complicated, yet all parties need some me time, mixed with us time, mixed with just us time.
__________________
Sean
CrazyGambit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2007, 03:35 AM   #69
speedysktr
President of Everything
 
speedysktr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,026
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyGambit View Post
... mixed with just us time.
... and as the beloved Homer J. said,
"...a 100% chance of gettin' it on."

my reply is: word

Explicit language alert!!!

Stop reading now if you are offended by
people talking about SEX.


Recycled advice originally from an obsessive
tri-geek and eventually passed on to me:


Don't stop f***ing your old lady.

'nuff said.
speedysktr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2007, 04:13 AM   #70
online inline
Senior Member
 
online inline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: seattle, WA USA
Posts: 3,997
Default

So i think we've got the notion of us (whole family) time, just you and your squeeze time (calm down, Speedy!), and the 'my' time.

But the real hook, if you really want one of the keys to dealing with the skating obsession is this- skating has to be the crown jewel, and you have to cherish it like it was nothing less. When i get a free minute, i say merde! (french for 'sh_t'). I need a free hour or more. I go to great lengths to get it every day, and go to great lengths to get the night off for group skate sessions, or for a race. I plan way in advance and make that the priority. Not to the exclusion of the family time nor to the 'me and Mrs time.', but when it comes to online inline getting his allotment of ME time, that becomes the first consideration. And the notion of quality time is pertinent as well - good, uninterupted, contiguous time to get the job done. And then i use that time like it is important, and it is. Most days, skating might be the only ME time i get, and that is fine, as long as i get some time every day.

And I think that that attitude gets picked up upon by the significant other - it is more than just an important time to me, and it becomes a real part of what i am. An understanding partner who sees this a) is more willing to bend a little to make that time available, and b) will really understand all the more if i can shut the hell up about it, not talk it death, and just go about it, get it done, and return home to be really in the moment - meaning being consumed in the things like family and the spouse, and not skating. This falls under what many have said here about the act of skating and excercise you love actually contributes to the quality of the rest of your day, which we of course share with others.

I also think that when the significant other sees to what lengths you or I will go to get that time, they soon understand that it's almost fruitless to get in the way of it, so it really needs to be fair if you or I are going to be insistent about it.
online inline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 6th, 2007, 04:20 AM   #71
speedysktr
President of Everything
 
speedysktr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,026
Default

rest assured. speedy is calm.
talking and doing are two
different things.

Just trying to simplify things.

Lotsa holding forth in this thread.
Everyone has their angle.
Whatever works for you.
Will the last person in this thread
please turn out the lights?
speedysktr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 10th, 2008, 11:41 PM   #72
Foot2big
The Elder Skatesman
 
Foot2big's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 7,428
Default

Hi, I'm Dave and I'm a skateaholic.

It really is an addiction. I started the sport, saying it was all about the health. Granted, I'm in better shape than ever, but it's not about the health anymore.

It's about the adrenaline, the vert, the jumps, the gaps, the tricks, the grinds, the stalls. Etc...

I cross train to get the most outta my jumps, and to get better endurance, so I can stay and play at the skatepark a little longer.

I'm not married, nor do I have any serious girlfriend. My two kids live with me, and they love to go skate.

It cuts into work, and into laundry and dishes, but not school, and not sleep. It's the drug that actually makes you healthier, even if it does interfere with "normal" societal responsibilties.

I'm going on 5 months, daily skating. I hope I'm healthy enough and don't break anything so I can make that same claim in another 5 months.

I skate. And that's how it is.
Period.

Of all the other addictions I've had and kicked during my 43 years, this is the only one that I don't plan on ever kicking. It's also one of the strongest addictions I've ever had, and that's saying a lot.

I went to a twelve step, and ended up 360'ing that damn thing.
__________________
An early-morning skate is a blessing for the whole day.
Henry David Foot2big Thoreau
Foot2big is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11th, 2008, 02:00 AM   #73
BWI-Sheldon
Pro Bike Chaser
 
BWI-Sheldon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,378
Default

This must be common for 41 to 44 year olds. There are a lot of us here that age.
BWI-Sheldon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11th, 2008, 03:21 AM   #74
rwsz
Senior Member
 
rwsz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: mass
Posts: 6,817
Default

thats a good addiction compared to most, and you get exercise to keep you healthier to boot.
__________________
Ciao Rick
rwsz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11th, 2008, 04:02 AM   #75
Bryan
Dances with Short Buses
 
Bryan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 986
Default

This thread has really gotten me to thinking; I don’t wanna end up like some of the folks here, inline skating seven days a week. I figure if I can keep my time on wheels down to about four days a week, that should be a healthy compromise, right?

So I’ve taken up ice skating.

Whew, that was close!
Bryan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11th, 2008, 07:51 AM   #76
online inline
Senior Member
 
online inline's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: seattle, WA USA
Posts: 3,997
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan View Post
This thread has really gotten me to thinking; I donít wanna end up like some of the folks here, inline skating seven days a week. I figure if I can keep my time on wheels down to about four days a week, that should be a healthy compromise, right?

So Iíve taken up ice skating.

Whew, that was close!
You're a genius, Bryan. Somehting tells me you'll fit right in at the old hockey rink.
You might want to change your avitar right now. I mean, that smile is not long for this world, is it.
online inline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11th, 2008, 02:06 PM   #77
Jenn
Monkey with a rope!!!
 
Jenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 93
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by online inline View Post
You're a genius, Bryan. Somehting tells me you'll fit right in at the old hockey rink.
You might want to change your avitar right now. I mean, that smile is not long for this world, is it.
He's trying to get me roped into hockey as well. I think this is all in his evil plan to totally soak up my free time with some form of skating.

Oh well. I say bring it on!

p.s. I took that picture of him at work. I've been trying to get him to change it cause he looks like a grinning idiot!
Jenn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 11th, 2008, 02:27 PM   #78
Foot2big
The Elder Skatesman
 
Foot2big's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 7,428
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan View Post
This thread has really gotten me to thinking; I donít wanna end up like some of the folks here, inline skating seven days a week. I figure if I can keep my time on wheels down to about four days a week, that should be a healthy compromise, right?

So Iíve taken up ice skating.

Whew, that was close!
Awesome!
__________________
An early-morning skate is a blessing for the whole day.
Henry David Foot2big Thoreau
Foot2big is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 19th, 2008, 12:46 AM   #79
excelsk8
MPC Turbo
 
excelsk8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Empire Speed NYC
Posts: 489
Default

Any obsession is bad, no matter what it is, anything that takes away your ability to think clear is not good. Skating has been my obsession for a long time, thank God I am not married and have no kids, but it has for sure got between me and work and me and every serious relationship i've been into.
Great thread hope we all learn from it. I know I have (not)
__________________
Francisco Ramirez
MPC Wheels & Canariam USA Distributor
http://www.skatemarathon.org
excelsk8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 19th, 2008, 04:44 AM   #80
sk8rmom
Senior Member
 
sk8rmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 981
Default My thoughts

I've typed several posts on this and then deleted them because they were too long or preachy or whatever.

So, in the interest in keeping it short - I hope. Here are my thoughts on this.

I skate whenever I can. My husband does not skate. If he wants to stay my husband, he will not try to stop me from skating because I am an adult, he is not my father and I will not be controlled. He knows this and everything is fine.

That sounds harsh, but it is not as mean as I am making it sound. What it boils down to is I won't let him control me and tell me what I can and cannot do and I don't try to control him. We have interests separate from each other as we should.

My kids skate too so they go with me. I spend most of my free time (time not at work) either skating, working on skates or talking about skates or skating. I do have other interests, but they take a back seat to skating.

I started skating 3 years ago so it's not like this was a part of the deal when we got married, BUT changing and growing together and respecting each other was. Growing together means recognizing there are differences and being okay with that.

Have there been conflicts? Oh yeah, but we worked through it because that's what you do in a marriage.

Compromise is one thing, control is another.
__________________
Lynn
Tucson, AZ
sk8rmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:32 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.